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I've been fighting off the curiosity,
who I am and who I'll be.
This chip on my shoulder,
my destructive tendencies,
they've become the better part of me.
I don't have the sense of self,
the freedom,
the exhilaration,
the childlike wonder,
I once adored.
Because I've spent months,
years.
Reeling from the sadness,
scraping myself up from the floor.
But I spend my time grasping for someone,
who wont hurt,
and won't betray..
And I know deep down,
that I should dream to be something more..
But I'm afraid
I've been shaken,
down at the core.
Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate...
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:iconl0ne-w0lf:
L0NE-W0lf Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013
Wow. Such creative epithets and action words! I especially like, "Reeling from the sadness...scraping myself up from the floor."
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:iconstatic--death:
static--death Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks so much! :D:D:D
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:iconl0ne-w0lf:
L0NE-W0lf Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2013
You're very welcome! :rose:
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:iconroadkillkitten:
roadkillKitten Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012
Hey there fellow Deviant. I've spent many a wasted year in that particular rut, and I know it's a long way out from the bottom. I won't bother with the "hang in there and things will get better" speech, cuz that never helped anyone. What I can tell you is that, from my experience, it's too easy to fall into patterns of hate and other "dark" or "obstructive" feelings and behaviors, but, if you stop looking at the light at the end of a tunnel as being an oncoming train, and mentally cancel "bad" thoughts/feelings and concentrate on more positive energies, things will start to look different. It may take a while, but it's worth the effort. We can enjoy the company of other people, but they can never MAKE us happy, we have to try and BE happy. I know it's hard, really hard sometimes. But I have faith in you. Take care now.
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:iconolaf68:
Olaf68 Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2012   Traditional Artist
yeah this happen to every one go out you usually route. Go on an adventure some where for the weekend.
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:iconstatic--death:
static--death Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Haha I don't think that would help but thank you anyhow. :}
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:iconolaf68:
Olaf68 Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012   Traditional Artist
Also to maybe trying something new? Like drawing in a different style or wood carving.
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:iconkundalinichrysalis:
KundaliniChrysalis Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Professional General Artist
:(
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:iconskull-king:
skull-king Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012
Ugh. That one hurt deep down. I too have days where I wish I still had that sense of wonderment and presentation of curiosity that made the world such a wonder to me when I began. It'll come back, step outside of your comfort zone and it's a whole new world, my friend.
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:iconstatic--death:
static--death Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
That's actually some really relevant advice for where I'm at in life right now, i have a hard time stepping out of my comfort zone. But yeah, I just need to get the fuck outta here.
Reply
:iconskull-king:
skull-king Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012
Been there done that. Then I tried stand up comedy, and tried out for another band, took a chance with a girl, and I feel good about myself!
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:iconstatic--death:
static--death Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Perhaps. Although I don't really hold myself back or anything. I do a lot of things. I'm just afraid I'm going to have these issues all my life.
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:iconskull-king:
skull-king Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012
It'll be alright, if anything you can just come to arizona and wreak havoc with me and my close friends.
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:iconstatic--death:
static--death Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
I totally would.
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:iconskull-king:
skull-king Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013
Shiiit. Now I've gotta find close friends just in case.
Reply
:iconsugoidave:
sugoidave Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
We start out in this world so innocent and then life begins to hit us full force... and we change. For those of us who bear the burdens of sadness it is especially difficult. I dealt with depression all through high school on to my mid twenties, and I nearly gave in to despair. But that same deep down feeling - the dreaming of being something more you describe eventually won out for me. Although I struggle often still, I try to fight for it. So I hope you will hold onto it... and I hope you find someone, a yin to your yang.
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:iconstatic--death:
static--death Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I hope thats how it all pans out but depression for me lately is like an extra appendage to my body that I can't get rid of. We'll see I guess. I'm starting to believe there is no yin to my yang because I hold such excruciatingly high standards over what my yin is like. ahaha.
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